Well...this is
going to be a short email packed with about as much as i can get into it. I am
typing as fast as humanly possible right now so excuse my errors and try and
follow along. A ton happened this week and a ton is changing so i have a lot to
say!
First off, I
am leaving Arauco. I had no idea how hard it would be to leave my first sector.
I love it here so much. This has been a really hard cambio and we have not seen
the success we wanted, but we realized these past few days that we are more
proud of this cambio then other ones in the past because we know we were about
as obedient as possible, worked as hard as we could, and really dedicated
ourselves to the lord. Anyway, we didnt baptize this cambio and that was really
hard on us. We worked our butts off and just didnt see the success. We maybe
should have dropped some investigators sooner and started working with new
ones, but its just really hard to drop people when you want them to progress.
But as missionaries we arent supposed to work with people for that long. Our
job is to find the escogidos y preparados, the people Heavenly Father has
already prepared for us to accept our message and progress rapidly. But i am
content with our work and i know that we planted a lot of really good seeds for
some missionaries to come and pick up in the future. Anyway, tonight we have
little goodbye parties tonight with Hector and Cecilia who are getting married
on the 31st of this month, Camila (who i didnt talk a lot about but has been
the one we have worked most with this cambio, just look down in a second and
youll see), Estefania who is just doing awesome and cant wait to serve a
mission, and Valentin and Juliana my favorite kids ever. Its going to be really
hard and i know i am going to cry. Haha its just the worst, i hate crying!
Yesterday when the branch president started to announce that i was leaving, he
started to cry and then i was just a mess too. I really, really loved Arauco.
It was my first home and i dont konw how to be a missionary anywhere else! I am
also going to miss Elder Wray a ton too. Its going to be really hard leaving
him because we got to be really good friends as well. We grew a lot together
and i will definitely be lifelong friends with him as well.
Anyway, as far
as where i am going. I am going to Coronel....which is the same zone i am in
right now. It would be like me moving from the Green Valley ward to the Sabre
Springs ward. Hahaha WHAT??? Seriously usually missionaries get transferred all
over the south of chile and i am moving an hour away from my sector. I have
worked there in the past on intercambios and its a much bigger city. Its just a
lot bigger and has a big downtown. its in the same little Gulf of Arauco so
youll be able to see it on that map mom. My companions name is Elder Salazar.
From what i know he has about a year in the mission and he is from Mexico, but
i dont know anything else. We are both getting transferred in because they are
opening up a new sector in Coronel that wasnt there before. So this will be
interesting! Haha but we will make themost of it and i know we will have a
great time. I am excited to get my spanish more tuned again and ill also be
living in a house of 4 with some other really cool guys that i know from my
zone right now so it should be a lot of fun. Plus ill be able to come back for
hector and cecilia wedding since i will be so close, so that is also a little
blessing! I am really excited for that. But more about all of that next week
when i know more!
Its been hot
as HECK here. Seriously, its been so hot this week. kind of like how hot it has
been in utah, right? This whole week we have just been chugging down Peach
juice (its so good, do we have that in the US?) and eating so much fruit. The
fruit is really good here. There are all kinds of peaches (kenna, you would
love it here. You could have all types of peaches thrown at you!), apricots,
watermelons, canteloupes, plums. Its seriously so awesome. The other day for
dessert i got 1/4th of a watermelon. A huge one. Haha i was in heaven! Then the
next day i just got a half of a canteloupe. They just cut it in half and gave
one to each of us. So awesome. But i am loving the summer here and my new
sector is on the beach too, so hopefully that helps with the heat. Basically
what i am saying is i am beyond spoiled...and there is absolutely nothing wrong
with that.
So this story
is long and this will be my best effort to say it as short as i can. Basically,
we had 99% of a miracle this week. It didnt quite turn out how it should have,
but it was still a miracle. So we have been working with Camila a ton. We are
over there so often and teaching her and everything, and we just try so hard.
Her plan was to get baptized the 12th and she was going to do it, but at the
last minute some doubts came up and she didnt go to church last week so her
fecha fell. This week we were dealing with the same doubts - not wanting to
leave behind the life she has right now with partying with her friends and all
of that. Its just so frustrating because you cant explain to someone who hasnt
felt the true power of the spirit how INCREDIBLY different the joy of the
spirit is than whatever temporary fun the world offers. You just cant. No
matter how hard you try, they just dont understand. So finally on Saturday we
were at her house, and we were going through the same routine. She had told us
stories about how one time she was talking to some friends and that they were
mockig the church and she was like "I KNOW the church is true". And
she said she didnt know that but it just came out and she felt SO good when she
said it. THATS CAUSE ITS THE SPIRIT!!! So we focused on that alot and finally
we were like Camila, ignoring ALL of your doubts, what does god want you to do?
And she was just like "I dont know Elder Tengberg. I truly dont know."
So instantly we went upstairs and knelt down to pray. She has been praying for
about 3 weeks and never gotten an answer directly to a prayer, and its been
super frustrating for us. We were starting to doubt a little bit and we were so
confused. So we go through the whole real intention thing, that if god answers
she would be willing to obey, and she was. And she asked Elder Wray to pray. So
we are knelt down in her room, and elder wray starts to pray with all the faith
he can possibly imagine. He prays and prays and prays, and despite our best
efforts, we felt NOTHING. I couldnt believe it. We all sat there for a second,
and then i asked her to take a decision to the lord. I had the impression to
tell her that she should ask if she should get baptized TOMORROW (or yesterday,
sunday) after church. She agreed to ask. So as she starts to pray, her voice
gets so soft and emotional. She says "Heavenly father, i have asked you so
many times. I am struggling right now and i dont know what to do. I just want
to know. Please. Should i get baptized tomorrow after church?" and in that
moment, the spirit was about as tangible as it can possibly be. I have felt
that about two other times in my life, and it was almost as incredible as those
times. It just rushed like a wave over us, and she just broke down in tears.
SHe said "I had no idea anyone could feel like this. I had no idea. I know
i have to do it, i know it". So FINALLY we got her an answer, and then we
started scrambling to find a baptismal tunic for her and getting the zone
leaders down for an interview. Everything was perfect until that night, and she
passed the interview, but didnt want to do it. She just felt like she wasnt
prepared enough. She knew her answer, but still just didnt feel like she could
do it. We seriously tried everything. I dont know what else we could have done.
We did our part, heavenly father did his, but she just couldnt take the step.
She said she has to start living the life more because her biggest fear is
going back how she was before. We explained everything and felt the spirit so
strong as we testified, but she just couldnt. Then that night she went to
Concepcion and didnt come to church. It just broke my heart. I literally have
never gone from feeling so incredibly happy to so heartbroken, so fast. As i
wrote in my journal, i wrote, "I just dont understand. how can someone
feel so special, and then still choose not to follow? How can i put so much
love on the line for a person and they still choose to reject? How can i do so
much and they still shove it back in my face?" And then it hit me - thats
how the Savior feels. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It just broke me down
into tears again as i thought of the pain he goes through every day. Of the
pain he WENT through, of everything he does, and then his pain as we continue
to choose to sin and be selfish and prideful and not serve others. We all have
experienced the joy of repentance, incredible spiritual experiences, and he has
done SO much. But i finally got to feel a little taste of what the savior feels
every day. I konw she will get baptized (she has a fecha for the end of
january) but i think maybe that whole experience had a little purpose. I still
dont know why it didnt come out the way we wanted, but i am so grateful for the
savior and feel so much closer to him after that experience. I truly love him
somuch and am so grateful for him.
I am way out
of time and need to go because we have little parties to get to so i can get
out of here tonight, and then have to pack all night to get to the bus terminal
in the morning...going to be a long night. But i love you all and i love my
savior. I know he feels frustrated when we struggle, but i am even more
grateful that he has the patience to let us get back up again - to PICK
us back up again. He never gives up, even when we do. I am so grateful for his
patience with me and know that one day when we get back to him, we will just
say sorry for everything, and he will give us a big hug and thank us for coming
back. The gospel is true. God answers prayers. he loves us more than we can
ever know. I will never be able to doubt the power of this work, and the
personal love that God and Christ have for each of us.
Les Quiero y
les amo
Elder Tengberg
and good luck on
marys farewell talk
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